Domestic Bliss

As many of you will know, I was really looking forward to coming to Australia to take up the position of housewife. The lure of kitten heels, marigolds and ‘lunching’ was strong and I was convinced I would find the role perfect for my skills.

Two months down the line and I thought that I should report back on how my new vocation is going, which is, frankly not very well.

The cooking bit I’m ok with. I’ve made a mighty fine Chicken and Sweet corn soup and a pretty splendid Pad Thai recently and I’m aiming for a full-blown baking experience before the end of the week.

It’s just the tidying, cleaning and ironing that I really have a problem with. I’m just not very good at it really, especially the bit about making the house tidy for your hard working husband/fiancé on their return home from the office every day.
I’ve discovered that, contrary to my belief, it wasn’t a lack of time that stopped me from being a domestic goddess in the UK, it’s actually an innate distrust of spending too much time with your hands down a toilet. I’m also excellent at making a mess of any kind.

In addition to my lack of cleaning skills, my ‘lunching’ ability is severely restricted by the fact that I don’t have any housewife friends, which means that my lunches aren’t quite the whirlwind of handy house cleaning tips and gossip that I was hoping for.

The good news is that I bought some little sandals, which make a nice clip clop sound when I walk and could be loosely described as kitten heels, a small triumph for my seemingly - doomed domestic career.

Rainforest Rocks

This weekend we discovered why rain is a very good thing – Rainforest.

It stopped raining around Thursday last week and hasn’t started again yet so we’re keeping our fingers crossed…..

On Saturday we headed out of town to Tamborine Mountain, which sits in a range of hills that runs through the Gold Coast hinterland. We were a bit puzzled when we arrived as we were expecting a national park and it looked as though building has happened pretty much everywhere desirable on the mountain top and the fragmented areas which are too steep or wet to house B&Bs they designated ‘national parks’.

Still, the steep and wet bits were truly beautiful and, according to the lady in the tourist information, all the rain we’ve had recently have transformed them in the last week. We set off walking in a eucalypt forest, which was mainly brown and dry apart from all the new young shoots that are making a dash for it since the rains. Then suddenly we found ourselves in really dense rainforest, surrounded by big palms, ferns and cycads and it was really amazing.

Rainforest rocks. Not only does it have its own air conditioning, but it also had a great sound track. As we walking we were continually finding pockets of lovely cooled air and everywhere we could hear rustling, shouting, hooting, singing, swooshing and munching and although glancing around all we could see were trees and the occasional cockatoo or parrot, the whole place felt alive and busy and you just know that there’s some serious business going on behind all those trees..

This is a strangler fig, which grows next to a tree and uses it as a prop to get to the light at the top of the canopy, the fig grows to tightly round the tree that it completely encases it and kills it – evil plants - cool huh!


After walking down to some waterfalls and admiring the view - This is us admiring the view....



.....we headed back and bumped into a wallaby, which studied us carefully from the safety of a bush and deciding we were a bit annoying, but harmless, hopped off before we could take his photo.

To get over the excitement we headed off for some refreshment – the wineries! Although Queensland isn’t a big wine producing area, there are still loads of small vineyards, which make some pretty tasty brews. The nice girl at the Tamborine Estate patiently explained each wine to us and what we should be looking for in the taste but, not really knowing our ‘Chenin blancs’ from our ‘Chardonnays’, we resisted the huge temptation to do Jilly Goulder impressions and just stood there and said ‘hmm, that one’s nice’ a lot. After about half an hour we left with a box of ‘nice’ wine….

On Saturday night we went for a curry back in Brisbane, it was nice, but the restaurant was tastefully decorated, they played good music and the staff were quite friendly – What’s all that about? These people have got a lot to learn about decent curry houses….

Is this Brisbane or Bridlington??

It started raining again on Friday just after lunch. By Saturday morning it was a downpour and peaked at a torrent by tea time. It then eased into a gentle and unending drizzle until Monday afternoon when it started cruelly mocking us by displaying glimpses of beautiful blue sky only to hurriedly pee down as soon as we stepped outside.

We weren’t told about this. Has anyone ever read about it raining constantly in Brisbane? I’ve never seen even a mention of it in the guide books and certainly no where near close to the truth which should read: Australia – usually hot, occasional but prolonged bursts of miserable weather. Similar to Lancashire…

I think that we may have stumbled upon an international conspiracy.... Weather maps are tampered with, guide books rewritten and people are obviously brainwashed when they leave and only remember the three sunny days out of the month they travelled here. I can see the headlines now when we uncover this plot….Australia: actually a bit damp.

Despite the obvious meteorological similarities to the Rossendale Valley, we have been enjoying ourselves out and about in Brisbane. On Wednesday I was asked for ID for the first time in more than a few years. The bouncer wouldn’t let us in, even when I pointed out my wrinkles and Matthew’s grey patch. We had to go all the way home ( in the rain) to pick up our passports and here is a picture of us on the way home….



I was trying to look annoyed and seem to have succeeded instead in creating a perfect ‘cat’s arse’ (the look coined by posh spice after David was caught have an offside ‘root’).

The faff about was worth it though and Groove Armada were superb, the venue was really small so we were close to the stage and there was a really good atmosphere, I was also very pleased to discover that venues over here are air conditioned. We had a good boogie and the brownster hip wiggle had its first airing in the Southern Hemisphere. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take the camera into the club so no pictures of Groove Armada in action I’m afraid.

We spent the weekend in a variety of different restaurants, cafes and bars watching the rain. We drove first to ‘Margate’ where we sat in the car and watched it rain on the sea and then to ‘Scarborough’, where we tried Moreton Bay bugs for the first time, whilst watching it rain. Then we drove up to Mount Coo-Tha, where you can see the whole of Brisbane, it was a great view – you can see a whole lot of rain from up there.

Here's the rain in Margate, if only we;d had a tartan blanket, a thermos and some nice cucumber sandwiches...



We also found a great bar on the South Bank which provides cold beer and comfy ( waterproof!) sofas out on the street which are perfect for watching the world go by on, and the rain….

It’s currently not raining out there and I even caught a few rays of sunshine this morning, but there are ominous clouds over the city and, oh….there’s a distant rumble of thunder… I’ll let you know if it ever stops, at least living on the 7th floor the risk of flooding is low…

A few more photos

We thought that we should put a few more photos up to give you more of a flavour of life in OZ and what we have been up to.

This is the view from our apartment:



and this is a kangaroo:



And this is a pandanus palm at Noosa, we don't know what the latin name for it is but we could come up with a few suggestions.